How Well Do You Know Your Partner Questions (50 + Scoring)

6 min read · The Map

How well do you know your partner questions are quiz-style prompts where one person guesses the other's answers, from favorite snack to biggest fear, and scores a point for each correct guess. Below are 50 questions in three rounds (easy, medium, hard), a simple scoring system, and what your score really tells you. Play it on a date night, a road trip or a long phone call.

If your score surprises you and you'd like to know how you actually handle closeness with this person, The Map places you on a map in about three minutes. Find where you stand

How to play the how well do you know your partner game

Setup

1. One asker, one guesser. The asker reads a question about themselves. The guesser answers.
2. The asker says right or wrong. Close counts if you both agree it's close.
3. Swap roles after each round.
4. Keep score on paper or your phone.

Scoring

• Easy round: 1 point each
• Medium round: 2 points each
• Hard round: 3 points each

That's 15 easy, 20 medium and 15 hard questions, for a maximum of 100 points per player.

Variations

• Write-it-down version: both of you write answers at the same time, then reveal.
• Group version: for couples game night, pairs compete against other pairs.
• Long-distance version: play over a call. See more ideas in things to do with your boyfriend over the phone.

Easy questions (1 point each)

Couple trivia questions most partners should know.

1. What's my favorite food?
2. What's my go-to drink order?
3. What's my middle name?
4. What's my favorite color?
5. What month is my birthday?
6. What was my first job?
7. Which do I prefer: morning or night?
8. What's my favorite movie or show right now?
9. What's my pet peeve?
10. Coffee or tea?
11. What's my comfort snack?
12. Who's my best friend?
13. What's my favorite season?
14. Which app do I open first in the morning?
15. Where did we first meet?

Medium questions (2 points each)

These get to know your partner questions go a bit deeper.

16. What's my biggest stress right now?
17. What's a dream job I've mentioned?
18. What song always cheers me up?
19. What's my favorite memory of us?
20. Which friend do I call when I'm upset?
21. What's one thing I want to learn?
22. What's my least favorite chore?
23. What's the best gift I've ever received?
24. What do I do when I'm stressed?
25. What's a place I've always wanted to visit?
26. What's my favorite way to spend a free Saturday?
27. What's one thing that always makes me laugh?
28. What was my favorite subject in school?
29. What's something I'm proud of that I rarely mention?
30. What's my love language, or the way I most like to be shown care?
31. Who in my family am I closest to?
32. What's one habit I'm trying to build?
33. What's something small that ruins my day?
34. What would I order for a last meal?
35. What's a rule I live by?

Hard questions (3 points each)

These are the deep questions for couples. Take your time and be gentle with answers.

36. What's my biggest fear?
37. What's a childhood memory that shaped me?
38. What do I most want to change about myself?
39. When do I feel most loved by you?
40. What do I need when I'm sad: space or company?
41. What do I tend to do when you go quiet?
42. What do I tend to do after we argue?
43. What's a dream I've almost given up on?
44. What's something I worry you think about me?
45. What was the hardest year of my life, and why?
46. What makes me feel respected?
47. Who hurt me the most, and how does it still show up?
48. What does a perfect ordinary day look like for me?
49. What am I most grateful for right now?
50. What do I hope we're like in ten years?

Scoring and what it means

This is a game, not a relationship test with a scientific score. A low result doesn't mean your relationship is in trouble, and a high one doesn't mean you're done learning.

Love maps: why these questions matter

John Gottman uses the term love maps for the part of your mind that holds details about your partner's world: their worries, hopes, history and daily life. His book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work describes updating these love maps as one of the foundations of a strong relationship. The idea is simple: people change, so the map needs regular updates. A how well do you know your partner quiz is a playful way to do that.

How well does my partner know me? Reading the gaps

Look at which questions each of you missed. They're rarely random.

• Missed easy ones? Maybe you just haven't talked about it. Fun to fix.
• Missed questions 40-42? Those are about how you react to space, silence and conflict. They're hard to guess because many people have never said them out loud, even to themselves.

Questions 40 to 42 are the hard ones because most people can't describe their own pattern clearly, let alone their partner's. The Map asks 18 quick taps about how you react when this person goes quiet, after an argument and when things are good, and places your dot in one of four regions. With "Two on one map," your person sees only your dot, never your answers. Find where you stand

Turning answers into a habit

A game night is fun once. Knowing your partner well is ongoing. Here's how to keep your love map current.

• Ask one new question a day. Our daily couple check in questions are built for this.
• Follow up. If they mentioned a stressful meeting, ask how it went.
• Write the surprising answers down somewhere you'll see them.
• Replay the game every few months and see what changed.
• Do new things together. New experiences create new answers.

See your side of the map tonight

How well do you know your partner questions show what you know about them. The Map shows the other half: how you tend to react with this one person. In about three minutes of taps on your phone, your dot lands in one of four regions, and you get a five-minute card each evening to build on what you learned.

Find where you stand

FAQ

What are good how well do you know your partner questions?

Mix easy ones (favorite food, birthday month) with deeper ones (biggest fear, what they need when sad). The mix keeps the game fun while still teaching you something real.

How do you score a how well do you know your partner quiz?

A simple approach: 1 point for easy, 2 for medium, 3 for hard. With the 50 questions here, the maximum is 100 points per player.

What are Gottman love map questions?

Love map questions are about your partner's inner and daily world: their stresses, hopes, friends and history. Gottman describes keeping this "map" up to date as a foundation of a strong relationship.

Is a how well do you know your partner test accurate?

It's a game, not a scientific measure. It's useful for spotting topics you haven't talked about, not for grading your relationship.

Can you play the how well do you know your boyfriend game over text?

Yes. Send one question at a time, have them guess, and keep a running score. It works well for long-distance couples.