Random Questions to Ask Your Talking Stage (100)

7 min read · The Map

The best random questions to ask your talking stage are light, specific and easy to answer, like "What's a food you'd defend to the end?" or "What's the last thing that made you laugh out loud?" Mix fun questions early, deeper ones once the conversation flows, and a few that gently show where you both stand. Below are 100 questions, grouped so you can pick the right one for the moment.

If you're asking questions partly to figure out where you stand with this person, The Map answers the other half, your own pattern with them, in about three minutes. Find where you stand

How to use questions without it feeling like an interview

Good talking stage questions start conversations; bad ones turn a chat into a job interview.

• Ask one, then answer it yourself. Sharing your own answer makes it a swap, not a quiz.
• Follow up before moving on. "Wait, why that one?" is often better than a new question.
• Match the medium. Short, playful questions work over text. Deeper ones are better on a call or in person.
• Don't ask more than two in a row. Let the conversation breathe.

Random and fun questions

These funny questions to ask your talking stage work well as conversation starters over text, whether you're asking a guy or a girl.

1. What's a food you'd defend to the end?
2. What's the last thing that made you laugh out loud?
3. What's your most useless talent?
4. What song would play when you walk into a room?
5. What's the weirdest thing you believed as a kid?
6. Which fictional character would you want as a roommate?
7. What's your go-to order at a fast-food place?
8. What's a hill you'll die on that nobody else cares about?
9. Are you a morning person or a "don't talk to me" person?
10. What's the best thing you've bought for under $20?
11. What app do you open first every morning?
12. What's your most-used emoji?
13. What's the worst haircut you've ever had?
14. If your pet could talk, what would it complain about?
15. What's a small thing that instantly improves your day?
16. What's your comfort show?
17. What's a trend you secretly liked?
18. Pineapple on pizza: yes or no?
19. What would your friends say is your most annoying habit?
20. What's the last photo in your camera roll (that you'd actually describe)?
21. What's your dream random job for one day?
22. What's the most chaotic thing you've done on a whim?
23. What's a word you always spell wrong?
24. What's one thing you're weirdly good at remembering?
25. What's your karaoke song?

Would-you-rather questions

Would you rather questions for a talking stage are great when a conversation stalls.

26. Would you rather have a rewind button or a pause button for life?
27. Beach trip or mountain cabin?
28. Always be 10 minutes late or 20 minutes early?
29. Give up music or give up movies?
30. Be able to talk to animals or speak every language?
31. Live without your phone for a week or without sweets for a month?
32. Know every ending or never get spoiled again?
33. Big party or small dinner with close friends?
34. Only text or only call for the rest of your life?
35. Be famous for something embarrassing or unknown for something great?
36. Road trip with no plan or a trip planned by the hour?
37. Have a personal chef or a personal driver?
38. Relive your best day or skip your worst?
39. Live in the city or the countryside?
40. Be funnier or be smarter?
41. Sunrise or sunset?
42. Always know when someone is lying or always get away with lying?
43. Cook together or order in together?
44. Have a dog or a cat?
45. Spend a day in the past or the future?

Deeper questions for later

Save these deep questions to ask your talking stage for a call, a walk or once you've met a few times.

46. What's something you've changed your mind about in the last year?
47. Who's the person who knows you best?
48. What does a really good day look like for you?
49. What's something you're proud of that nobody asks about?
50. What's a lesson you learned the hard way?
51. What did your family do differently from other families?
52. What makes you feel most like yourself?
53. What's something you're working on about yourself?
54. When do you feel most at ease?
55. What's a memory you go back to when you're down?
56. What are you scared of that you rarely admit?
57. How do you like to be comforted when you're upset?
58. What does being cared for look like to you?
59. What's something you wish people understood about you faster?
60. What do you want the next year of your life to look like?
61. Who do you admire, and why?
62. What's a friendship that shaped you?
63. How do you handle arguments: talk it out now, or cool off first?
64. What's something small that makes you feel loved?
65. What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?
66. What's a belief you hold strongly?
67. What does "home" mean to you?
68. How do you recharge after a long week?
69. What's something you're still figuring out?
70. What's a question you wish someone would ask you?

Questions that show where you stand

Most lists skip these, but they're the talking stage questions that actually move things forward. Ask them lightly and at the right time.

71. What are you looking for right now?
72. What made you want to keep talking to me?
73. How do you feel about how this is going?
74. Are you talking to anyone else?
75. What does dating look like for you, in practice?
76. How do you usually like to spend time with someone you're into?
77. What made your last relationship or situationship end?
78. How often do you like to talk when you're getting to know someone?
79. What's your ideal next step for us?
80. What's a dealbreaker for you?
81. How do you show someone you like them?
82. What do you do when you need space?
83. Do you like making plans ahead, or keeping things spontaneous?
84. What's something you'd want me to know before we go further?
85. When do you usually know if someone's right for you?

Their answers tell you a lot. If they dodge every one of these for weeks, compare notes with our signs a talking stage is not going well.

Questions to ask yourself

Half of knowing where you stand is you. Ask these quietly, and be honest.

86. How do I feel after we talk: lighter or more anxious?
87. Am I checking my phone more than I'd like?
88. What do I actually want from this?
89. Do I say what I want, or hint and hope?
90. When they go quiet, what story do I tell myself?
91. Do I pull back when things start to feel close?
92. Would I be okay if this stayed exactly as it is for three more months?
93. Am I interested in them, or in being wanted?
94. What would make me step back?
95. How does this compare to my last talking stage?
96. Is the effort roughly even?
97. Do I feel like myself around them?
98. What's one thing I'd like to say to them but haven't?
99. Am I giving this enough time, or too much?
100. If a friend described this to me, what would I tell them?

Honest answers to questions 86 to 100 are hard to hold onto, because they change with every good or bad text. The Map turns them into 18 quick taps about how you react to this one person, and places your dot in one of four regions. Each Sunday, a four-tap re-map shows whether your answers are shifting. Find where you stand

If your answers point toward stepping back, here's how to end a talking stage with a kind text. And if you're not sure what stage you're even in, see talking stage vs situationship vs relationship.

Answer the questions about you first

Random questions to ask your talking stage are a great way to learn about them. The Map is the fastest way to learn about your side: about three minutes, 18 taps, and your dot lands in Home Ground, The Lookout, Open Water or The Fog. From there, one five-minute card each evening, picked for your region.

Find where you stand

FAQ

What are good questions to ask your talking stage over text?

Short, playful ones work best over text: favorite comfort show, most useless talent, or a quick would-you-rather. Save deeper questions for calls or in-person time, where tone is easier to read.

What are deep questions to ask your talking stage?

Try "What makes you feel most like yourself?" or "How do you like to be comforted when you're upset?" Ask them once the conversation already flows, and share your own answer too.

What questions should I ask a guy or a girl in the talking stage?

The same good questions work for anyone. Pick ones that match their interests, follow up on their answers, and avoid firing off a list. Curiosity matters more than the exact question.

What should I ask to know where I stand in a talking stage?

Try "What are you looking for right now?" or "How do you feel about how this is going?" Ask lightly, then listen. A vague answer after a direct question is useful information.