The four patterns, and where you stand
Quick answer
Most people sit in one of four patterns with any given person: comfortable, watchful, self-sufficient, or torn between wanting closeness and needing to get away from it. None of them is the wrong one, and the pattern is about the pair rather than a verdict on you.
What does anxious attachment look like?
You care a lot and you notice every shift. Closeness matters, and so does knowing where you stand.
On The Map: The Lookout
Avoidant attachment in relationships
You like your own space and you're steady on your own. Distance doesn't bother you.
On The Map: Open Water
Secure attachment style in adults
You tend to feel comfortable getting close and you don't spiral when things go quiet.
On The Map: Home Ground
Wanting closeness and fearing it at the same time
You want connection and feel unsure about it at the same time. It can be hard to tell what you need.
On The Map: The Fog
Which one is you, with them?
The pattern is about the pair, not a verdict on you — and it can be different with a different person. Eighteen taps puts your dot on the map.